WISDOM FOR DADS FROM THE BARBERSHOP

I teach classes on parenting and relationships here in Mon. County and I hear this statement very often from fathers, “they don’t have a manual that comes with your child when they are born on how to be a parent”. There still isn’t a manual that directly fits your particular situation, but there are some safe havens for fathers to discuss parenting. Barbershops are safe havens where men gather to get a haircut and talk about life’s events. As I have spent many a day in the barber shop; even though I’m a bald man, I’ve picked up a few tips. They are simple and straightforward.

·        Spend time with your children. Each moment can create positive memories.

·        Always keep your promises. It builds and maintains trust with your children.

·        Celebrate and praise your children’s accomplishments. It will increase their confidence and encourage them to keep trying.

·        Tell both your sons and daughters that you love them. Not just for what they do. But for whom they are.

Spend time…Sometimes as parents we don’t realize how important spending time with our children is. Little moments mean a lot. My father was a Respiratory Therapist for 30 years. I used to see him off at the front door when he was going to a conference, which happened often. At eight years of age Daddy always let me play with his equipment and discuss what each piece was used for. After kissing my mother he would say to me, “You got things here. You are the little man of the house.” Looking back on it now I realize that Daddy did not consider me to be a man. But for that brief period in time he taught me about what a man is supposed to do to keep his family safe. Those words have stayed with me for a lifetime and resonate even more now that he has left this world on April 23rd, 2013.

Keep your promises…One of the first things that fathers can teach their child is how to trust. An infant develops trust when his cries are met with a clean diaper, a bottle or by holding him securely in her father’s arms. Children thrive on consistency. Continue to be there for them to meet their needs. Keeping your promises completes the bridge between the development of trust to a child with integrity.

Praise your child for their accomplishments. If you tell her she is smart, pretty, good, kind and trustworthy, they will believe it themselves. Why? Because Daddy said so and daddy doesn’t lie! It will give them the courage to persevere when life throws them a curve.

Always tell your sons and daughters that you love them. A father’s demonstration of love for his daughter will keep them from looking for love in all the wrong places when they get older.  Dads, please remember this. Showing your son affection and telling him you love him will not make him soft. If anything it makes him a strong Mountaineer willing to be vulnerable, yet strong, because he can!

There really isn’t a manual that comes with the birth of your child. But, the Fatherhood Buzz Tips for Fathers helps to lay the foundation… and your time, promises, praise and love are the building blocks for their future. Parenting is challenging to navigate at times, but we are here to serve as a resource here at the Extension office.  Call us if there are questions that we can help you with.